Love and Relationships: After The Love Has Gone

One of my fondest memories as a kid was the roadtrips that me and my family used to take to my hometown.  I, along with my parents, three sisters, and even the family dog, would all pack ourselves into a 1985 Buick Century and make the voyage from Texas (or Louisiana) all the way to Charleston, SC.  During the trip, I would sit with my head pressed against the window and daydream.  I remember travelling from state to state jostling through radio stations trying to find the urban stations and next thing you know you would hear “Ready or Not” by After 7…that was my joint.  I would sit there and fantasize about having my own wife and kids when that song came on…doing the same thing with them that my mom and dad did with us.  Crazy as it sounds, the lyrics of that song in particular set the template for the kind of man I wanted to be.  You know…the whole “Sun, Moon, and Stars…” thing…It was fly as shit to me.

I can say unabashedly that I am a hopeless romantic (Yeah ladies, we exist). I have never been a fan of the serial dating lifestyle, I have always had a higher favor for the sanctity of a good relationship between two people that were into each other.  Never cheated on a girlfriend…I just hoped to get married and have a few kids and settle down in suburbia with a good 9 to 5 and small church to go to on Sundays. Fast forward to now and I am a single dad to two boys in an apartment…exactly what I planned.  Why? Here nor there. Life Happens. GOD happens.  I just know that somewhere in the grand scheme of things,  I missed the part where the daydreams I had as a kid were supposed to meet up with reality and now…you get the idea.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all unhappy. I have the best boys that a man can ask for and even though it’s not at all ideal, I have a job and a lifestyle that provides for them handsomely. But in an age where people are getting divorced faster than they can get married, every now and then you are left to wonder what’s happened to the love that was so viceral in that After 7 song?

If you ask most women these days, they will say that guys are loose.  They don’t want anything but some trim and go. I have heard all of the horror stories they tell  about everything from the secret children to the down low relationships.  As a man and he will say that women are indecisive, demanding, or just as bad as the rest of the men are. There a plenty of fingers pointing but so little introspection.  It’s in every media outlet around you. Gossip sites are quick to revel in the union of two of your favorite celebrity couples, then vilify them, scandalize them, and lastly bury them in sensationalistic fervor  as their relationship collapses.  Or go to YOUR Facebook page. My timeline is littered with the status updates from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” to “single”… The Madea-like declarations that she is “drama-free”, “she can have him”,  or that she is “too blessed to be stressed”.  The guy that is super concerned for the welfare of that same girl on the wall while sending her messages that she is “Sexy as fuc” in her inbox accompanied by pictures of his member and phone number.  The prospects of a good relationship have gone the way of Donovan McNabb’s Super Bowl run.  My twitter timeline is full of video models getting showered with indecent proposals from 16 year olds in “RT’s” and your favorite R&B songstress gloating about her affinity for the “size” of her male counterpart. Absolutely crazy…but true.

Is this what we are left with? What’s the problem? More soon…


One response to “Love and Relationships: After The Love Has Gone

  1. solid commentary Robbie. I, too, remember the roadtrips and how I’d jam to good Rhythm and Blues. I’ll be sure to come back often. Quality stuff my brotha.

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